My Name
by dragondolphin1990
Summary: Ryan always thought he was gay, until he met the new girl, Gabriella. RyanTroy
1. My Name

My Name  
By  
Dragondolphin1990

A/N: It's a just a little story I wrote for my friends.

"Ryan Evans," the math teacher read, looking at his class roster.

"Here," I raised my hand, so the teacher could see.

My name is Ryan Evans. Not many people actually know that, though. I'm always "Kid with a Funny Hat" or "Sharpay's Less Talented Twin." I'm the talented one, though, and, if you ask me, my hats are very stylish.

I don't mind that Sharpay and I didn't do the Winter Musical this year. We're always rehearsing, designing costumes, or something. It was nice, having a chance to just pay attention to school for once.

I also don't mind that Sharpay made us go to each performance, just in case Troy or Gabriella messed up horribly. It was nice, having a chance to just pay attention to Troy for once.

You see, I've had a crush on Troy Bolton since freshman year. He's cute and he's the basketball star, what isn't there to like? Sometime shortly after I got the crush, I realized I was gay.

Somehow, that all changed during the Winter Musical. Her name is Gabriella Montez. She played the lead in the play. She's drop dead gorgeous. She's a genius. And she has a much better voice than Sharpay.

So, the week after the musical, I spoke to that cute little Kelsi Neilson girl, who's always writing music. I've never had a chance to talk to her, since Sharpay seems to hate her. That week, Sharpay was a little… off, so I was free to do as I pleased.

Kelsi seemed surprised to see me in the auditorium during free period, or maybe she was just surprised to see me without Sharpay, I'm not sure which. I asked her about Gabriella, but I didn't find out much, just that she moves a lot and had started looking for a summer job. That was the only time I spoke to her.

So, when I overheard Sharpay and Mom talking about getting Troy a job at the spa, I knew what I had to do. The spa needed more staff for the summer, so they were fine with hiring Gabriella, too.

At first, I didn't really have much time to talk to Gabriella alone, since I was always with Sharpay. In case you didn't know, Sharpay absolutely hates Gabriella. Then, Sharpay started spending more and more time with Troy, and I was free.

Of course, I decided to help Gabriella and her friends with their talent show audition. Not only did I get to know her better, but I also got to choreograph without Sharpay's screeching every few seconds, which is very stressful, trust me.

I did a lot while trying to get Gabriella. I even played baseball. Baseball! I do _not_ do sports. I'm not the kind to get my clothes dirty. I also swam a lot, but only when she was on lifeguard duty. I don't usually swim, so I'm sure I looked awfully stupid doggy paddling.

The night before the talent show, Gabriella and I were talking. I wished so badly that I could let them perform, but I can't go against what Mom and Dad say. Maybe Sharpay could, but I couldn't. It was getting late, and we were the only ones left in the room where we practiced our talent show performance. The lights were dim- a few were burned out- so it was fairly romantic.

I softly touched her hand with mine and gave her a chaste kiss.

It just felt wrong.

For some reason, I found myself thinking about Troy. Wasn't he Gabriella's boyfriend? Wouldn't he be angry? Wouldn't he be cute if he was angry?

I quickly pulled away, mumbling something, an apology, I think.

For the rest of my time at the spa, I did my best to avoid Gabriella… and Troy.

But now, here I am, first day of senior year, sitting right behind The Troy Bolton in math class. His hair looks good. He must have gotten it cut since he quit his job at the spa.

As we got paper out to take notes, Troy turned around and smiled, "Hey, Ryan."

I froze. So did my heart.

_He knows my name._

I clumsily scrambled to get my paper out.

_He _knows_ my _name.


	2. 2 Root 17

My Name  
By  
Dragondolphin1990

Chapter 2

A/N: Since most of my reviewers wanted more, I decided to write more. I'll add more chapters soon.  
Thanks for caring about my little story, you guys!

Senior year, Sharpay and I had most of our classes together, like always. In fact, our schedules were identical, with the sole exception being math. She had Geometry, and I had Pre Cal. Our respective math classes were both first hour, which really annoyed Sharpay. Apparently, math first thing in the morning isn't fun if you don't like math.

Actually, I didn't like math much, either, until I found myself sitting behind Troy. On the first day of school, he smiled at me and said hello. Maybe he didn't hate me for what happened at the spa. Or maybe Gabriella never told him.

Gabriella is a beautiful girl with a great voice and a great mind. If I were to turn straight, it would definitely be for her. I don't regret kissing her, and I'm sure it would have been a great kiss.

I am never, ever, ever going to mention it to Gabriella, Sharpay, or Troy.

Talking about Troy…

Isn't he the luckiest boy in school? He's the best athlete the school has seen in twenty years. Gabriella likes him, Sharpay likes him, half of the female student body likes him… I like him…

There, I admit it, I like Troy Bolton!

I would never tell any one, though. People already make fun of me because I don't have a girlfriend, I'm always hanging around with Sharpay, and I dress gay. If they found out I actually was… I shudder at the thought. We're supposed to be in high school, but some of my classmates still use elementary school insults.

And then math was over. I wonder what the teacher said.

I met up with Sharpay on our way to English. Since we have the same last name (Evans) we sat next to each other in every class. Just like every other year. We sat at the popular table with a few cheerleaders and their boyfriends at lunch. Just like every year. We had theatre class with Mrs. Darbus last hour. Just like every year.

Unlike every year, Troy was in the class. His presence alone showed that he must have gotten over his fears and admitted that he liked being in the Winter Musical last year. But his body language said something else altogether. He was avoiding eye contact with everyone, fiddling with a basketball. Why does he always have one with him, anyway? He sat, slumped in his chair, which happened to be right next to mine. Theatre was always a small class, so Bolton and Evans were next to each other on the alphabetical seating chart.

It looked like senior year was promising, starting and ending the day next to Troy.

Unfortunately, we didn't speak much after the first day of school. I would occasionally ask him something, just to hear his voice, but that was it. ("What's the square root of 68?" "Um… 2 root 17, I think.")

My math grade was dropping. I used to be able to get a B without studying too hard, but I suddenly found myself slipping, hardly able to stay above a C+. It was probably because I was staring at Troy's hair a lot, instead of the teacher. It looked different somehow. Maybe he dyed it darker or got a slightly different cut. I was too shy to ask.

Meanwhile, Sharpay was being Sharpay. We had already gotten together a routine for the Fall Musical, and we were working on another, just in case there were callbacks again. Auditions were still about three weeks off. Sharpay also started wearing contacts. You know, the kind that change your eye color. I guess she wanted bright blue eyes, as if she was from Lord of the Rings, or something.

Mom outgrew Yoga, so she stared Tae Bo instead. Which, of course, meant that I started learning it, too. I suppose Tae Bo is better than some of the girlier things we could have taken up. On the plus side, it's closer to sports. Troy does sports.

Argh, I'm thinking about him again.

But he's just so cute…

And he has a girlfriend! I can't forget about that. He's straight and he's taken. There's no way that Troy would be interested in me, so I'd be better off if I just forgot him.

But he's so hard to forget about. Especially when he sits right in front of me in math.

"Hey, Ryan."

"Yeah?" we were putting our papers away at the end of class.

"Aren't there two male leads in the Fall Musical?"

"Yeah," I was always _sooo_ articulate around Troy, "There's the two main characters and then their best friend."

"Do you think Sharpay would mind if I played the friend?"

"What about Gabriella? I thought you would want to play the lead with her."

"Miss Montez doesn't like me that much, so we had to break up."

"So, you're single?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "Yeah, I am."


	3. Of Car Rides

My Name  
by  
dragondolphin1990

Chapter 3

I exhaled sharply, trying to release my frustration. Sharpay was forcing me to run through our audition for the Fall Musical _again_. I kept telling her that Troy and Gabriella weren't auditioning, but she wouldn't listen. So, there I was, with a giant moose mask and a dashboard hula girl, singing a song about hairy ghosts. Don't ask.

Each time one of us would miss a single pitch or take the wrong step, Sharpay would screech a little and then we would start over. It had been going on now for nearly fifty minutes.

Kelsi agreed to be our rehearsal pianist, but I got the distinct impression that she was starting to regret it. Each time we started over, the tempo would drag just a little bit more. She had taken out a short novel and propped it up, so she could read while we practiced. Eventually, Sharpay remembered her English essay, so we decided to call it quits for the night.

I agreed to give Kelsi a ride home. Her parents were still at work, and it would have been a long walk. I had a pretty nice car- not to brag or anything. I'm pretty sure Kelsi liked my car, too. She ran her hands up and down the upholstery and smiled. I returned the smile before giving my attention to the road.

The car rides became a tradition. Four days a week for about a month, I gave her a ride home after our practices. During that time, we would talk about whatever, and we quickly became friends.

Meanwhile, I kept an eye on Troy and Gabriella. Troy was right; the two had broken up. Whenever I saw the two of them together, Troy's friend Chad was always around. Actually, Gabriella seemed to stand awfully close to him. I was slightly jealous of Chad. I clearly still had some feelings for Gabriella. I didn't have much time to worry about it, though, since Sharpay kept me busy most of the time.

And then…

It happened a week before auditions.

I stopped the car outside Kelsi's house after giving her a ride home, and said goodnight. She blushed a pressed her mouth to mine. I stared at her for a minute and then felt her tongue against my lips. I quickly pulled away. She smiled and stepped out of the car.

The next day at school, Sharpay and I passed Kelsi's locker on our way to Science. She was talking to Gabriella and Chad about their History homework. (Sharpay and I had a different teacher) I slowed slightly, hoping to lose Sharpay and have a moment to speak with Kelsi. Sharpay noticed, however, and called out to me. I gave Kelsi and apologizing look and dutifully followed my sister.

That afternoon, we acted normally during practice. On the car ride to Kelsi's house, we spoke a little and decided to go out. She was a nice enough girl. I thought it might work out.

We went on a date that Saturday, to the movies and dinner. It was nice, getting to talk to her, but the kiss goodnight was a bit awkward. She called me Sunday afternoon and we spoke for about ten minutes on the phone.

Monday, Sharpay demanded that we have another practice; auditions were only two days away. The tempo was slower than usual, and I thought I heard Kelsi play a blues chord every so often, which wasn't written into the music.

Like always, I gave Kelsi a ride home. For the first half, we were both quiet. Then, she softly asked, "You're gay, aren't you?"

"I… I'm afraid so."

"Let's just, just be friends," she was obviously a bit sad.

"You okay with that?"

"Yeah…"

"Kelsi, you're a good girl. Find a guy who'll love you like you need to be loved."

"That, that sounds so clichéd," she laughed.

We laughed most of the way to her home. As she got out of the car, she whispered, "Hey, Ryan, good luck with Troy."

She shut the door before I could say another word.

Was my crush _that_ obvious?


	4. His Name

My Name  
by

Dragondolphin1990

Chapter 4

Do you remember that one time junior year, when everyone broke out in song at lunch? There was that one guy, from the basketball team, who was going on about Crème Brûlée? I don't even remember his name. Honestly, the only basketball players I know are Troy and Chad… And Shaq. He plays basketball, right?

It was really funny that day, when Sharpay got food all over her shirt. Don't tell her I said that, though.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, that basketball guy. So, it seems like Sharpay has started to stalk him.

Looks like I'm not the only one with a crush on a basketball star.

Talking about basketball, Coach Bolton has started basketball practice already. Basketball practices have always been closed to the main student body. I know this because, well, because Troy is always at practice. The whole closed practice thing didn't stop Gabriella, Sharpay, and myself from sneaking in to watch our respective crushes. (Chad, cooking guy, and Troy) Of course, I told them that I was only there because Sharpay was.

I hate being around Gabriella. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but she's just so beautiful, and smart, and musical. It's almost disgusting how perfect she is. But… if she was a guy, I'd probably be in love with her. A few months prior, I had a chance to be with her, but it just didn't work out. Probably because I'm gay.

Next to me, Sharpay was intently painting her toenails, occasionally looking up at the guys, who were currently practicing their free throws, I think. I don't know much about sports. Sharpay looked at the green paint that was on three toes, blinked a few times, and got out her nail polish remover. I scooted away a bit; that stuff smells horrible.

By the time the team finished their free throws and were taking a short break, Sharpay had repainted six of her toes, this time a bright red.

"Ryan," she ordered, "Go tell that one guy that I want a banana cream pie."

"He has a name," I mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"He has a name," I said, louder this time, "It's Zeke, why don't you use it?"

"Do I look like I care? Just go tell Zack I want a banana cre… No wait. Tell him that I want a coconut cream pie."

I agreed and walked down the bleachers and onto the court, "Hey, Zeke."

"Oh, hey, uh…"  
"Ryan," I supplied.

"Ryan, right. So, why're you at our practice?"

"Sharpay wanted to come. She also said to tell you that she wants pie."

"Any specific kind?"  
"Coconut cream."

"Gotcha."

"So, you're just going to do it?"

"Sure."

"You shouldn't let Sharpay walk all over you."

"You're one to talk. I bet you don't even breathe unless she says you can."

"At least she knows my name."

He didn't do anything, just stand there, glaring at me. After a minute, he walked away. I admit that I was being a hypocrite. I hadn't even known his name until a few minutes earlier.

"Everything okay with you and Zeke?"

I turned around to see Troy watching me, absently dribbling a basketball in his right hand.

"Yeah, we're fine. Sharpay just had a message for him."

"And she couldn't come herself?"

"Her nail polish isn't dry."

We both looked up into the stands and saw her beginning on her fingernails.

"I am so glad I'm not a girl."

"You get used to it."

"You're a girl?" he joked.

I laughed, "No, but I've lived with Sharpay all my life. You're eventually able to just block out the girly things."

We chatted and joked around for a bit. Coach Bolton eventually blew his whistle a few times and yelled, "This is a closed practice! What are you doing on the court, _thespian_?"

It was then that I realized why Mrs. Darbus and Coach Bolton never got along. Sports and the arts always clash; it's a fact of life. It wouldn't matter too much, except that Coach Bolton is Troy's dad. There's no way Troy and I could even be friends.

Dejectedly, I slumped off the court to the stands. Gabriella and Sharpay must have heard Coach Bolton's outburst because the two were collecting their things to leave. As Sharpay got me to carry her bag, I noticed Gabriella blowing kisses at Chad. Such public displays are disgusting.

Why can't I blow kisses at Troy?


	5. Interlude The Crucible

My Name  
by  
dragondolphin1990

Interlude – The Crucible

A/N – This mini-chapter is based off of Arthur Miller's "The Crucible." Specifically, when John Proctor says "Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life!" It made me think of the title of my little story. You do not need to have read "The Crucible" to understand this chapter, but if you have, you may recognize some characters and situations based on the play.  
Also, I am amused that my little subchapter here is the longest chapter so far.

I had a strange dream. I was sitting in the chem. Lab, looking out the window. A thick forest had popped up in the middle of the baseball field, just outside the science building.

I sat down on the teacher's desk, right next to a shiny red apple. That was the first hint that this was a dream. Nobody would ever give our science teacher an apple. My spirit lifted out of my body, leaving it to pass out on the floor. That was the second hint that I was having a dream. I slipped through the glass of the window and into the forest. After a few metres, I saw something in the corner of my eye.

Without any input from the conscience part of my brain, I felt my spirit glide toward the movement, narrowly missing on of the newly-erected trees. I suddenly came to a clearing near where third base used to be.

Gabriella was there, along with a few other girls. Later, after I woke up, I could only remember that there were other girls, not who they were. They were merely faceless blobs, dancing wildly in the night, stark naked, arms flailing, hair blowing in the wind. So many details were so specific, yet their faces remained obscured. Gaby was the only one I could clearly make out.

Sharpay's cell phone alarm went off, a collection of annoying beeps meant to sound like some Ashley Simpson song. Or was it Christina Aguilera? Or that Fergie girl? Gah! I don't care who it was, just that they woke me up. Besides, it's too early to think about music.

Oh, look. Now Sharpay is practicing the aria for the musical. Practices don't start for three more weeks. I guess it isn't too early for music. By the way, Sharpay and I are the main characters. We're playing a couple, like usual. And Troy is my best friend. Ooh, I like saying that. Troy is my best friend. Thank goodness that little tart, Gabriella, didn't audition.

When she got to the instrumental break, Sharpay jumped down from the top bunk. Trained like a monkey, I handed her the foundation from the nightstand.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked, noticing her high spirits.

A slight giggle and then back to applying the makeup, "You'll see, little brother, you'll see."

As I headed to my bathroom- we each had our own- I rolled my eyes. I'm only younger by a few minutes. Whatever.

School was a pretty boring affair, like always. Actually, no. There were no forests or apples in the chem. Lab, but it was a surprisingly good day. First off, Sharpay was off doing, well, something, I'm not sure what, but it gave me a chance to talk to Troy by the lockers before lunch.

I had _to_ get to lunch first.

Not much happened in the first half of the day. Besides the typical buttload of homework and the not-so-typical pop quiz, I had to go to the nurse's office during second hour for an eye exam. The top letter was an E, by the way. Nurse Rebecca is getting pretty old, but I trust her judgment enough to not go to the optometrist anytime soon. As I was leaving Cory Giles- an underclassman- and a tuba player- a girl I never spoke to- were entering for their exams.

Eventually, the first three hours ended and I easily snuck away from Sharpay to find Troy's locker. I got to speak to him, and he told me some pretty juicy gossip. I found it hard to pay attention later, when we got to our last our, theatre. But the story he told me was just so interesting, that I think I'll build up the suspense. Besides, this is the kind of thing that deserves its own chapter. It's just too intense to be tacked onto the middle of a McCarthyism subchapter.

Yeah, you heard me. I, Ryan Evans, just broke the fourth wall. Now, as you may or may not be aware, this chapter in my life is loosely based around Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" which in turn was loosely based around Joseph McCarthy's insanity. Now, don't worry, I don't know any communists. Just a few teachers who want to be dictators. Now, where was I?

So, yeah, fifth hour was pretty boring. As was sixth. We were watching a movie about the Salem witch hunts, but I wasn't really listening. I was mulling over what Troy told me earlier. Then, there was seventh hour. I kept my eyes on my desk and hardly even acknowledged Mrs. Darbus's presence. I needed more time to think over what Troy said before I could look her in the eyes again.

School finally ended, and I barely made it out of the classroom before Sharpay had me cornered, "Ryan, dearest," she began in an overly sweet voice, "I need you to sign my little petition. I only need one more signature."

"This is a heavy petition."

"It should be. It's weighted with authority."

I carefully read every word of the petition, not trusting anything affiliated with my sister. Three pages, size 8 Arial font. You heard me right, size 8. Her little petition took me twenty minutes to carefully read through twice. All the while, I was not even a metre away from Mrs. Darbus's classroom. Then, I glanced through the list of names.

Abigail Williams' name was first, right after Sharpay's herself. Abigail was a sophomore with dreams of being a senior for the rest of her life. She wanted to be popular, thrived on it, but she simply didn't have the body to pull off popularity. Rumor had it, she would sleep with pretty much any upperclassman who was on Varsity. Surely, Troy would never fall prey to her wiles. She must have signed the petition for Sharpay's acceptance, not because she cared about the issue one way or the other.

The issue. Ha! It was insanity. Sharpay wanted to forbid crossing over between extracurricular activities. Baseball players couldn't play football, no matter how athletic they were. Nation Honor Society members couldn't join a photography class regardless of how their schedule worked out. Band geeks couldn't even consider joining a club. And basketball players or math clubbers could never _ever_ do a musical.

Sharpay held out a pen, "Well, c'mon, Ryan. Just sign it."

"You're insane!"

"I'll forge it if I have to. I just need your name!"

"You can't have it!"

"Well, why not?"

"Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth dust on the feet of them that sing. How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"

Very carefully, I brought the petition up, in front of her face, and slowly ripped it in two, smirking the entire time.

It felt good to stand up to Sharpay. I wonder when I'll get the courage to do it again.


End file.
